He Who Speaks First Loses: Mastering the Art of Sales Silence

Master the art of sales with the powerful tactic 'He Who Speaks First Loses.' Learn how to use silence effectively, build confidence, handle objections, and close more deals.

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He Who Speaks First Loses

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Have you ever heard the term “Pregnant Pause?” The word itself stems from the 15th century, being defined as “full of meaning.” Just as a pregnant body is full of meaning with a little human, a pregnant pause is full of meaning with silence. 

It ties in very nicely with the ancient negotiation tactic, “He Who Speaks First Loses.” This is one of my favorite games. As you all know, if I could fill my body with sales tattoos, I would. And HWSFL would take up some major skin space. It’s a really important part of sales.

Understanding “He Who Speaks First Loses”

The essence of “He Who Speaks First Loses” is that silence can be a powerful tool in negotiations. After presenting your price or proposal, remaining silent creates a space that prompts the other party to respond. This tactic can be incredibly effective, but it requires confidence and patience—two traits that are vital for successful salespeople.

The Power of the Pregnant Pause

I’ve witnessed many a salesperson falter in a moment of low confidence. This happens in a variety of different selling situations, but mostly, when it comes to talking price. For some reason, we get nervous talking about the price with people. This doesn’t just happen in sales. This happens with family when we tell them the price of an item we bought, and with our bosses when we ask for a raise. In sales, though, it tends to go a little something like this:

A Common Scenario

Salesperson: “For all these services, the total is $30,000.” Said in a whisper. “And that includes tax. And I gave you a discount. And it’s a really good deal for all that you are getting. And our clients are really happy.” More word vomit.

Client: “Wow, ok. I’ll have to think about it.” Stunned by the amount of low confidence this otherwise confident person is showing and all of a sudden has major concerns about partnering with this person.

How It Should Go

Salesperson: “For all these services, the total is $30,000!” Smile. Eye Contact. Relax. Keep Quiet.

Client: “Great! When can we get started?”

Why Silence Works

Silence works because it creates a psychological pressure on the other party to fill the void. In the context of sales, this often results in the client revealing their thoughts, concerns, and objections, providing valuable insights that can help you close the deal.

Building Confidence in Your Product

Knowing your value and the value of your product or service is crucial. If someone has paid for your services in the past, other people will also pay for your services. If they have a challenge with the price, you won’t know unless you give them the space to tell you so. Don’t project your relationship with money onto them. LET THEM SPEAK! 

The Importance of Practice

Mastering the art of silence in sales requires practice. Start by incorporating small pauses into your conversations. After you make a statement or ask a question, count to three in your head before speaking again. Gradually increase the length of your pauses as you become more comfortable with the technique.

Applying the Pregnant Pause Technique in Different Sales Scenarios

Negotiating Price

When discussing price, present your offer confidently and then stay silent. Resist the urge to justify or explain further. This gives the client time to process the information and respond.

Handling Objections

When a client raises an objection, acknowledge it and then pause. This allows the client to elaborate on their concern, giving you more information to address it effectively.

Closing the Deal

After making your final pitch, ask for the sale and then wait. The silence gives the client the opportunity to make a decision without feeling rushed. 

Final Thoughts on Mastering the Art of Sales Silence

The tactic of “He Who Speaks First Loses” is a powerful tool in the world of sales. By mastering the art of the pregnant pause, you can create space for meaningful dialogue, gain valuable insights into your clients’ needs and concerns, and ultimately close more deals. Remember, confidence and patience are key. Know your value, trust in your product, and let your clients speak. You got this.


Need some help?

The Middle Six is here to help build your confidence for those seemingly tough sales conversations. Don’t miss your chance to attend our next Sales Boot Camp where you can learn more about the art and science of sales from our very own Lisa Proeber.

About Lisa Proeber

Lisa Proeber is the force behind The Middle Six®. With nearly 20 years of high-performing sales experience, she brings a breadth and depth of knowledge to her solo venture. The Middle Six® is not a gatekeeper; it opens the gates for anybody to learn how to succeed at sales. Sales is not a dirty word; it's equal parts art and science, starting from the bottom up. Ready to become a salesperson with a roadmap in hand? Join us, and let's make waves together.

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